Opinion: This Thanksgiving Muslim-Americans Will Practice ‘Turkeyya’: Don't be fooled by their displays of overwhelming generosity and compassion!

The following is an editorial written by Margaret Smith whose views and opinions are her own and do not reflect the viewpoints of Islamica News. Smith is widely known for her coining of the terms ‘Lamestream Media,’ ‘Killary,’ ‘Libtards,’ ‘Snowflake’ and ‘Obummer.’ @paranoidmarge Hi America. It’s me, Marge… your conspiracy-wielding aunt sitting across the table […]

Muslim Satirical Publication Struggles To Get Through This Shit: "This is crap. He wasn't supposed to win."

Expressing disappointment they couldn’t publish a slue of articles on the night of Trump’s presumptive loss, writers at the popular Islamica News publication expressed anger and frustration on the election of their new orange overlord. “This is crap. He wasn’t supposed to win,” lamented one writer. “I spent over 15 minutes writing new material and […]

Moderate Trump Supporters Discovered: "Let's drain the swamp and unite to kick out all the bad people and Muslims."

In a heartfelt moment after all major networks declared Donald Trump’s victory, the nation’s three moderate Trump supporters offered words of encouragement after the election of our nation’s 45th president. “It was a hard-fought battle and ugly things happened, but I’m not a racist and I don’t support the KKK,” stated 32-year old Wyoming resident […]

CNN Electoral Touch-Screen Spattered With John King’s Fecal Matter: Marathon election coverage results in obstructed views of states, counties

Atlanta, GA – As a result of continuous interactive map coverage, full of John King’s finger swipes and toggles, CNN’s infamous touch-screen monitor became spattered with what appears to be food smears and fecal matter. “We’ve been trying to project a winner for Colorado, but we can’t tell if the state is red, blue, or […]

Voting Is Haram, Warns Man Nobody Wants to Hang Out With: Frustrations Abound as Man Alienates Friends, Families, Complete Strangers

Local mosque-goers are complaining about an increasingly irritable man hovering around their mosque. The man, identified as 27-year-old Haroun Khaleel, has been handing out anti-voting flyers for the past month and the situation appears to be deteriorating. “I get where he’s coming from. Muslims face tremendous difficulty navigating the nuances of the political spectrum,” stated […]