Khabib to Senate: “I LIKE BEAR.”

Washington, DC – On Wednesday, UFC Lightweight Champion Khabib Nurmagomedov testified before the U.S. Senate, responding to questions about the melee that followed his victory over Conor McGregor. Today’s discussion primarily centered around the fighter’s adolescence, and his history with bear during that period of his life. Islamica News has obtained a transcript of the […]

NASCAR Vehicle Quietly Kneels During National Anthem: Outraged fans call for disciplinary action, as ratings plummet.

New Hampshire Raceway – Controversy erupted on Sunday, as Lyle Bennett’s No. 19 Car kneeled during the national anthem at the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series. The two year old, neon green striped stock car quietly sunk down to the ground as the crowd color-coordinated the American flag from the stands. Its sponsor logos only […]

White House Announces “IFFTAR BASH 2017”: This year's Iftar will be held during lunch, and will serve 'porkorays'

Washington, DC – On Saturday, members of the White House staff announced the ‘Make America Great Again IFFTAR BASH 2017.’ This event is meant to mark the start of Ramadan, the sacred month when Muslims abstain from food and drink during the daylight hours. Islamica News has obtained a copy of the open invitation (pictured […]

Left Shark Shows Up At Friday Sermon

Glendale, AZ – Left Shark made a walk-on appearance during this Friday’s khutbah (sermon) at the Islamic Society of Glendale. Puzzled worshippers were encouraged after witnessing the mascot take shahada and pronounce his conversion to the Muslim faith. Some expressed disappointment, however, noting they preferred Right Shark and hoped the companion sea-dweller would convert, as […]

Santa Just a “10 second Photoshop Job” Away from Becoming Radicalized: This Christmas, Santa may be saying 'Ho Ho Ho-akbar!'

Washington, DC – The FBI is currently monitoring the threat of Santa’s radicalization through the popular image editing software: Photoshop. Concerns were raised across the country after multiple individuals witnessed the similarities between Santa Claus and the general profile of a ‘radicalized’ Muslim, which includes a beard, a cap, and the likelihood of flying an object onto/into buildings through […]