BREAKING: Roy Moore Fondles Latest Exit Poll: Poll accuses U.S. Senate candidate of improper contact steps away from voting booth.

Birmingham, AL – On Tuesday, U.S. Senate candidate Roy Moore allegedly fondled an exit poll minutes after exiting a voting station just out of Birmingham. According to sources, the fresh, young poll was approached by Moore right outside the courthouse when the improper conduct took place. Moore vehemently denied the allegations. A source close to […]

NASCAR Vehicle Quietly Kneels During National Anthem: Outraged fans call for disciplinary action, as ratings plummet.

New Hampshire Raceway – Controversy erupted on Sunday, as Lyle Bennett’s No. 19 Car kneeled during the national anthem at the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series. The two year old, neon green striped stock car quietly sunk down to the ground as the crowd color-coordinated the American flag from the stands. Its sponsor logos only […]

Hurricane Tours Destructive US President: Climate elements over Texas get a first-hand glimpse of the active threat to the US mainland, full of tweet-storms.

Houston, TX –  The latest Atlantic hurricane got a first-hand glimpse of the destructive leader of the free world on Tuesday, surveying the erratic entity as it flew over Southeast Texas. Clouds above and floodwaters below joined in awe as they witnessed the threatening specimen capable of menacing policy and tweet-storms, make its way across […]

Before Leaving Saudi, Bannon Sprays “Muzlims Go Home!” On Side of Mosque: Tillerson: “I remember thinking it didn’t make any sense… aren’t they already home?!?”

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – On Sunday evening as the Trump delegation left Saudi Arabia for Israel, White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon reportedly requested the convoy to abruptly pull over at a nearby mosque. Much to the confusion of the entire staff, a frustrated Bannon then pulled out a can of spray paint from his […]

Sensitive to Local Customs, Trump Lands In Saudi Arabia Wearing a Burqa: The U.S. President said the gown was 'soft' and 'fantastic'

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia – Kicking off a five country swing across the Middle East and Europe, President Donald Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia donning a burqa, an outer garment some Muslim women wear to cover themselves in public. According to his staff, Trump wanted to ensure his first international trip as President was a public […]