Khabib to Senate: “I LIKE BEAR.”

Washington, DC – On Wednesday, UFC Lightweight Champion Khabib Nurmagomedov testified before the U.S. Senate, responding to questions about the melee that followed his victory over Conor McGregor. Today’s discussion primarily centered around the fighter’s adolescence, and his history with bear during that period of his life. Islamica News has obtained a transcript of the […]

DON’T BE DISTRACTED. The Real Story Here is That There’s a Habib With a Freakin ‘K’ in His Name

The following is an editorial written by Habib Ali whose views and opinions are his own and do not reflect the viewpoints of Islamica News. Yo guys, it’s me, Habib Ali – your thirty-something, brown, slightly attention-deficit friend. Need your help in walking me through one of my many mental dilemmas. And no it’s not […]

Your Uncle Wants Someone To Explain Rules of Football At The Most Tense Time of Game

St. Louis, MO – “Please explain me this game,” asks a 62-year-old Saleem Patel during the Super Bowl’s tense fourth quarter. “I just don’t understand how you score. Why are they always falling down?” Patel’s questions go half ignored as everyone in the room is glued to a large flat panel tv broadcasting the last […]

Cleveland Indians Replace ‘Chief Wahoo’ with ‘Call Center Raj’: Team apologizes for its inaccurate depiction of Indians with a Native American icon.

Cleveland, OH – Amid criticism and protests, the Cleveland Indians announced they will replace the divisive Chief Wahoo mascot with the new ‘Call Center Raj.’ “Major League Baseball is committed to building a culture of diversity and inclusion throughout the game,” MLB’s commissioner, Rob Manfred, said in a statement. “We realize that the inaccurate portrayal […]

Man Offended By Trump’s NFL ‘SOB’ Comment, Curses at Losing Team During Game

Seattle, WA – On Sunday, 32 year old Harris Kasem took a break from watching football to express his disappointment at comments recently made by President Donald Trump regarding NFL players kneeling during the national anthem. Trump told a crowd at a rally in Alabama that NFL team owners should fire any player who disrespects […]