Airlines Cracking Down On Emotional Support Manimals

Chicago, IL – On Monday, domestic airline carriers announced they are tightening rules for flying with Emotional Support Manimals (ESM), requiring passengers to show authorized proof of need and some form of guarantee the manimal will not be a threat to other passengers. “We’ve seen a significant uptick in the number of Emotional Support Manimals […]

Friend Refuses to Forgive Man Departing For Hajj: "No way, no how – not after all the crap he’s put me through."

Houston, TX – “If there’s anything I’ve done to offend you, please forgive me before I embark on the spiritual journey of my lifetime,” read an email sent by 38-year-old Abdul Khan one day prior to his departure for Hajj. For Muslims around the world, Hajj is a required pilgrimage to the holy city of […]

What if Diet Coke Can Technology Fell Into the Wrong Hands?: The doomsday scenario would be impossible to aspar-tame.

Washington, DC – Authorities are on high alert after unopened cans of Coke were purchased in bulk from area Costco and other wholesale and discount stores. The Department of Defense released a report based on intelligence gathered over the past several weeks. The recent report was published on the heels of Friday’s incident in which […]

Hero Stewardess Thwarts Diet Jihad: FBI Warns of Potential Further Snack Terror

CHICAGO, IL – A quick-thinking United Airlines flight attendant is being hailed as a hero for resolving a beverage terror incident yesterday. According to authorities, the would-be assailant was an “overtly Muslim” woman traveling for reasons unknown. “I started to get suspicious when she wasn’t giving her full, undivided attention to the pre-flight safety instructions,” stated the […]

Quiet Muslim Woman Secretly Rageaholic on Road: Patterns Noticed, Many Fearful

DEARBORN, MI – Parents at a local Islamic School were given a rude awakening last week in the form of screeching tires on a 2005 Lexus RX-330 SUV. The aggressive driver, identified as 29 Year Old Faria Daud, was spotted weaving in and out of traffic approximately 30 miles per hour over the posted speed […]